2010 Annual Compilation of Statistics of Jared C.Dixon

Comparisons

Stats	2008-09	2009-10
Age	12	13
Height	5’2”	5’6”
Weight (lbs.)	147	136
GNP (USD)	314.70	311.42
Unemployment Rate	0%	100%
Cal Ripken League BA	.000	.400
Literacy Rate	100%	100%
Awesome-o-meter	73.98	102.72

Spring Break

Spring Break is here for me. (above) (extra emphasis on the "Spring") It feels better that one might think, because I'm coming off of half a day of the career fair, where the sixth graders at my school put up cardboard displays on the career that we want when we grow up. I was in the writer group. These displays were the product of several month of occasional working, a little cutting and pasteing online articles for the video game programmers, a small amount of looking up fan fiction, and a lot of surfing miniclip. This was the sad result of our teacher giving us free rein with 18 laptops.
Needless to say, the displays were a sorry bunch, with the exception of some of the few people who actually wrote the the articles on their displays.
The idea of the career fair was that students from other schools would come by to see the displays that were on display.(hence the name "display") They would then answer two questions for each display, write them down, have them stamped by one of the yawning students manning the display, and then move on.
The job of standing at the display and stamping each and every piece of paper thrust under your drooping nose. (I tried to finish an assignment during the fair. do the math) The students, instead of just searching the few words on the display for the answers, actually asked the person at the display what the answers were. We found this very exasperating, and, being the mature sixth graders that we were, we resorted to using a few of our highly effective forms of persuasion to get them to go away.("Don't make me eat you, kid.") eventually, out of pure boredom, we began rejecting random stamping requests.
Near the end, we all could be seen flocked around the video game that the future programmers were so kindly "demonstrating" to us. I hear we have to do this all day in eighth grade...

Ketchup

This is my big post. The one that will leave readers speechless in awe of this work of art. When they finish reading, with tears in their eyes, the critics will be begging for more. Yes, this post will be the first step of my journey to fame, glory, and sweet cash moolah. Or at least it would be if my stupid limbic system (Did I get that right, uncle Nigel?) had held on to those great blog ideas that I had developed in the space between my posts that I had just piled into what I am sure would have been the greatest blog entry since the beginning of mankind. Just a few minutes ago, I rushed to the computer, and in the time that it took to open up the "create a post" page and type in the title of this post, my mind went completely blank, and then I started writing this. Don't ask me what the title is all about. I don't know.

So, um, I guess I'll just... I dunno, fill you in on today's statistics?

• Number of cans squashed on lunch duty:4
• Dodge balls caught at recess:3
• number of times I slipped in the mud:1
• spoons fished out of mega ultra XXXL ketchup tub of doom:2
• lunch ladies annoyed:3
• classmates shot with rubber bands... Uh oh, I think I hear my mom coming.

A day at my home

This video is 100% candid.

Fall

Hello again. I was just looking at the space between posts and considering making them seasonal. they would probably be closer together.

I just had a fun and laugh filled Thanksgiving break.
Saturday, we went to the WSU Recreational center with the Mumfords and the Scott and Colin Campbells. In a game of roller blade hockey, my team was down, 8-9 in a game to 10. Alex, disgusted with the job Ryan and I were doing as goalies, kicked us out of the position and could'nt stop a miracle shot made by Tim through a swarm of defenders that won the game for Tims team. Tim was then named star of the game by Uncle Colin. On his victory lap, an elated Tim glided across the court. The "elated" Tim was soon joined by the "furious-goalie-who-gave-up-the-winning-shot-and-armed-with-a-hockey-stick" Alex. The "elated" Tim quickly transitioned into a "screaming" Tim and then to a relieved-that-he-hadn't-been-killed" Tim when Al was intercepted by Uncle Tom.

Just a funny incident, a few seconds ago, Julia the new three year old walked up to Seth's computer humming innocently. I watched as she raised her fist over the keyboard."la de la de da."
BAMBAMBAM
Still singing her merry tune, she waddled away, the monitor displaying only an error page with no taskbar and no way to exit out.

The Garage Sale

I could never figure out why people advertise for a garage sale, and then you get there, and the sale is in the yard. Now we just had a garage sale and I still can't figure it out. We got the stuff from Aunt T moving. on the day of the garage sale, the Campbells came over to help. We each took turns as the cashier. I don't know why, but handling the money was a popular job. Maybe it was just fun to watch all the moolah pile up. We probably could have doubled our profits if there weren't so many things that appealed to us. When we were preparing the stuff for the garage sale, a lot of this was going on:
Uncle Bryan (the pricer):Wow, look at this Mariners baseball.
Seth: Wow. That's mine now.
Uncle Bryan: Check out this collection of baseball cards.
Ryan: Thank you.
Me: Hmm. What price for these brand new Nike Airs?
Emily: Oh, Joy!
The night before the garage sale, Ryan and I decided to "camp out " in the front yard to test out the one man tent (oops) that was going to be for sale the next morning. I think that Dad "accidentally" forgot to turn off the sprinklers that night.
The next morning, we put on the garage sale, and Miri set up a little Sprite stand in the front of the driveway, and everything went as planned, except for the pop stand, as there were too many generous donations to the hard working staff.
At one point, Micheal asked a young mother "Where is your boyfriend?"
"He's in the car," she replied. "I like 'em young."
In the car sat a little boy, no older than 3.
Well, there's nothing more to say.

THE END